Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
