one might say we're banned from that church
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
