Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
