its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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