barbara walters just said penis...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
