So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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