i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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