Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
