Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
