he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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