he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
