i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
