I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
