covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
