susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
