there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Randomize
