the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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