I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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