idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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