All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
