Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
