Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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