I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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