I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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