Whod you bang
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
