went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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