I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
