she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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