Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
