i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
