my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
