We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
