How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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