I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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