I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
