OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
