Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
