no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
