I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
