we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
