he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
