I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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