he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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