Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
