Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
