There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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