You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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