I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
