did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Vodka?
Forever.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
