It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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