I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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